I want to change my life

Do you though?

Does anyone want to really change? And what part do you want to change? All of it?

I am not certain people really want to change their life.

They say they do. They will type it into google and then when they see it represents something difficult they will stop looking.

I say this with the greatest kindness. Having being there. What does your life represent. Your job, your work, your daily routines.. Which part?

For example if you are sitting on the couch watching netflix, eating something pleasurable, and this represents one of your only real pleasures. Do you really want to give that up?

Honestly.

It is in essence the one thing that brings you a bit of comfort. It's what you work towards all day. Why would you want to change that? It would almost be insantiy to give up the one thing you get pleasure from. Wouldnt it.

So you want to keep that. The thing that takes your energy and time.

On Friday night, do you really want to not drink alcohol. You have worked ever so hard. You have looked after the kids, your job etc etc... You deserve the wine, the beer etc. Do you really want to give that up?

Do you want to give up the negative thinking that comes the day or two after and the loop of eating comfort food to compensate for the hangover.

You might want to give up that part. But not the pleasure part. The addiction could be very strong. The addiction to a comfortable life is over whelming. And you do not need to be an alcoholic, foodolic, comfortolic to be an addict. There is a spectrum and we are all on it.

I just wonder how bad it has to get. How miserable does our thinking get before changes feels like there is no choice but to change.

A life lived in the pursuit of pleasure is never satiated. Temporarily reaches capacity for a few hours. But it is never satiated.

So all of these comforts from your warm bed, your warm water, your foods that spike your insulin not to mention the sugar, drugs, alcohol, the safety of a reocurring salary, stale old relationships letting go of those is entering the unknown.

Mostly when presented with what change really means, we remain with the devil we know.

But if you really do. Then start. Right fucking now. Whenever that is. One day at a time. One moment at a time. You don't need to give up or anything else if you don't want to. But maybe for today. Not even today. Just now. Fight the battle in front of you. Each of these tiny battles amout to the war.

Each of the tiny battles amount to the war.

Each of the tiny moments add up to your life.

The temporary mouth and body pleasure is not enough.

Forget trying to change your life. You do not have an entire life that you can change. So then consider what is now changeable.

The answer you are looking for you already know.

Begin.